It is a famous saying in my past romantic relationships that I laugh at today. When breaking up, I have heard the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me”. (I have to admit, I actually used it myself while ending a relationship. Terrible, I know.)

As I get older, I have had to take second looks at my career, my life, etc. (One person suggested a mid-life crisis, haha.) As I have talked about in recent posts, I have hit some moments of depression that I have never experienced. It’s not terrible, I can function just fine. And my understanding in a God and His Gospel helps me in knowing my place here on Earth.

My career is very personality based. Constantly looking for more work is the name of the game. And if I have a personality that lacks, I do not get hired. I have done so many projects over the years working solo, or I am the only one hiring others to work for me. Successful film producers usually work in groups. But I have never partnered with someone else in my projects, which I feel might have been a detriment. (I am currently trying to change that for future endeavors.)

One of the things I have noticed in later years is people drawing away from me for many different reasons. I realized that I might have a personality that might scare people, or look at me as silly or embarrassing. There’s not enough space on this post to give all the examples. But there is one story I noticed that happened to me in recent history. (I will refrain from naming names because I am sure I could be wrong and I love the people I am talking about.)

I go to many concerts, mostly in the summer. And when I go, there are several long-time friends who will show up at the same concerts. Most are pretty fun! This summer Stephanie and I have seen Howard Jones, ABC (who was awesome), Haircut 100, Doobie Brothers, Steve Winwood, Train and REO Speedwagon.

One couple I run into at concerts will often say “hey we should just go together” (which has never happened). When I was still on Facebook, I posted months before that I got tickets to this one concert. Of course, my friend said they got tickets as well! Awesome! And not only that, we got tickets literally right next to each other!

Concert time was here and when I approached them, he informed me he had sold his tickets and moved to the other side of the section. Not sure why. I am sure he had his reasons. But for a person who is fighting depression, one cannot help but to think…is it me? (I know, so high school!)

I am sure I have done that to other people. And it would look like I was avoiding them, or not wanting to get too close to them. And…maybe there are people who I have chosen not to get close to. I believe it is a personality conflict that is not meant to hurt anyone or do damage.

There are several people that Stephanie and I would admit we avoid, or limit our time with. Not necessarily because we don’t like those people, but some people have energy that is different than ours.

There have been people who I feel avoid me that I had felt we had a lot in common. Whether it is in the film business, or the church, or is a fan of the same movies or music. But I feel it is ok to be selective with those whom I may not totally gel with. I have had to learn that I too may have a personality that I have had to alter to be pleasant to be around.